There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize