This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
