I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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