P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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