Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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