you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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