Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
