Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
