All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
