He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
