I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
