Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
