please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
