once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
