her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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