If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
