i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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