i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
