Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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