I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize