I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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