I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
