You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize