I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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