im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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