Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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