Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
