piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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