i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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