You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
