im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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