This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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