Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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