2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
