So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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