saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
