she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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