Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
