all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
