Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
