is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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