can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
