i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
