you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
