South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
