honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
