she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im holly from the hills drunk
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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