dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
