Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
