Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
