Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize