I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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