I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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