Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
