i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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