Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
