I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
