Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
