this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
