I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
