I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize