so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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