Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am one with the molecules
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
